help wanted

 

 

please apply for the social media position
at the internship I’m working at.

 

fuckingbitches. I spelt magezine <– wrong. and I shouted FUCK so loud as soon as I hit post. but my boss doesn’t fucking know that! she doesn’t also know that my life has been falling apart pretty much since October and I have been trying already REALLY hard to keep my soul on dry ground.

treading water, staying afloat.
watching the waves watch me drown.

and poetry, man. that’s where its at. I don’t know truthfully where I’m going to move next. but I need to get the fuck out of CT. that’s for certain. BK is looking like a good prospect – even though my dad doesn’t want me there. but no one wants me at home anyway so – whatdafuckthen does anybody care?

 

BUELLER, BUELLER? anybody fucking BUELLER?

 

there’s me & there’s my art. and there’s that little nook in the side room where I talk it all out with myself. talk myself down off the cliff. because there’s a steep one right on the neck of that bottle. goddammit thanksgiving is going to be hard.

 

I should at least bring a flask, even if I do go to my parents’ house. I am dreading it for reasons anybody who doesn’t know a Borderline won’t understand. That’s the great mystery my friends, that’s the unclinical diagnosis. the clinical one is schizophrenia, but its more than that.. she’s a little bit more on each end, than that.

 

I can do it. I can do it.

 

Unofficial, unannounced, impromptu meeting last night about twofiftystudios, my comrade & I met up at a shitty bar and talked it out, about filming next week (which is greaaaat because I have a tech class I need footage for) and the chicken is coming before the egg. that’s all for that speak.

 

triple double plus good. someone should make a move for the 50th anniversary of 1984. I think I want to do that.

 

I FUCKING CALLED IT. hollywood, stop stealing my ideas. lol, I really honestly get fucking mad when you do. workaholicssss… you jerks nabbed me clean out of workspace confessions. but its fine. wc is way darker.

sorry – is this called “storiesofastalkergirl”?

 

its not.

 

I’m gonna go make a tuna

 

x x

day one

 

 

today’s a day of many firsts
most importantly for twofiftystudios

 

 

 

that corner office man, a place for all my plants. all my plans too, that’d be nice.

 

 

yeah, that’d be real nice. I’ll brush up on my computer literacy.. because really, even posting a picture in wordpress is like a fifteen minute saga. posting on twitter? a lot easier. I’m judgemathis on twitter. really, IAMJUDGEMATHIS. it used to be my aim screen name in high school. now a lot of people follow me that think I am actually the tv personality judge. I don’t have the heart to tell them otherwise.

 

website for twofifty is in the works. then we got some shorts to shoot, actors to audition and shit to do. I’m pretty excited, we also have to get literate on the law. which is a buzzkill for creative business, haha, but necessary for long term gigs. ya gotta grow if ya wanna grow – in all areas.

 

which makes a LOT of sense – especially right now in my life; there are many firsts going on & its all a little chaotic. but the Bradshaw Bonus is: if you let all the buzzkills get you down, you’re just gonna be sad & sober. lol – be a stoner! maybe not even a literal one. selectively obey the law and just do ya own thang. F the world. and take down Monsanto – they fucking suck.

 

gotta go pack my clothes & all my belongings because my mom is have a schizophrenic episode and is kicking me out – happy trails. And that is not an exaggeration. haha! FIGHT THE BUZZKILLS & keep trekking on

 

stay open
keeping loving

 

xx.