back from brooklyn

 

and its killin me
wallet and soul

 

I don’t even want to look at my bank account right now. And all I ate was an apple today. But hey, you know what they say…

 

The inspiration has been priceless though, and the future ahead in it, unfolding. I’m hopping off the mystical pony right now to bring it to you straight.

 

I don’t even know if I want this job that I’m interning for. I like it- I could love it. But its not exactly the field that I’m interested in. Could I? Get interested? Yeah. Hell yeah. But do I want to pursue that kind of “art field”? Only slightly.

 

Media Art is more what I’m geared at. That’s what 250 is going to be. http://www.twofiftystuios.com is the domain name I’ve been hunting after.

 

and I’ll share this moment with you – I’m the happiest girl right now.

 

of course I just signed up for it. paid less than ten bucks- hope its not a scam. psssh, you people who say stoners don’t do anything…

 

I forgot what I was saying! yes – the professional world and living in the city… the Carrie Bradshaw thing. Except not in Manhattan. We probably have the same fucking model of mac though – mine is prehistoric & sometimes I think the people at the gallery judge me for it. but I don’t care about that. I care that they’re the kind of people that would judge me for it. and the kind of people that judge anything. or get mad when the internet is bad. or just too mad too fast for any kind of silly reason at all. hell – the only wordpress experience I even have is updating this thing.

 

it may go without saying it was a tough day at the office. lol. just as a saying.

 

but it made me think of something – when we allow some one to treat us badly, even just once… it gives them permission to keep doing it. When we don’t have some kind of adverse reaction – like say its our boss. or its our hottie older Mr. Biggs.. what do you do? well I’d take it. I did. twice in one week. haha. almost twice in a weekend.

 

and its not good. there needs to be a lot more self worth that I have for myself. like I’d just get down real quick on myself. like that I ACTUALLY DID do something horrifically wrong, or too strange. that I’m not accepted.

 

But you know what? I just bought twofiftystudios.com and that’s the most awesome thing of the night.

 

so sucka later

 

 

an i for and eye ..

.. and an imac for an eye

I got a new computer. because my old one shit the bed. and so i figured on a ride home from new york to buy one for $135 dollars off ebay. from ‘healthylaptops’ who had like 100 positive reviews.

little did I know that this cheap laptop was going to be worth every nonexistent dollar I spent.

What is most troublesome to me now is that my usb pen won’t work with it. so somehow I will have to get crafty and email it to myself so I can hopefully open it in an attachment to work on my poetry like I planned to do. tech savvy – welcome to it. but not even

what I’ve maybe googled most on this thing so far is ” how to — on a mac”.. really. I don’t understand this thing. an iPhone, yes – another ebay purchase – but, this is honestly outdated even for a macbook.

and that brings me to wonder; for the Carrie Bradshaw twist of the evening; that every time something is outdated, we throw it away? or we “recycle” it? what does that mean?

literally, and figuratively of course! haha.

another computer. for what? to run faster, to keep up with the trends, for superficiality or superiority. hm. everyone is different, yeah. But the fact is – we keep making them. so why are we making them? is the goal one day to have a laptop for every person in the world? or are we keeping up with some or artificial demand – something that we don’t really need.

I watched that movie Columbiana tonight. it got one star, deserves at least two.

because that female lead, Zoe Saladana, prob spelt that wrong – kicks ass. like all over the place. with that acting, with that character, with that literal ass -kicking. the femenist in me thinks the men are the actors who couldn’t keep up with her.

and maybe that’s why it only got one star. because the buster browns up in hollyhood couldn’t give a hoot long enough to understand it. so they gave it low scores.

honestly- that’s how I think alot of the mainstream art works. people have to judge it, screen it, grade it – before it gets out into the public. at least film anyways. that I know of. but like whaaaat, get organic man. just do it.

that was a rant and a half.

and that was some stoner girl diaries.

goodnight

branching out

 

and getting shit done. all the while keeping it revolutionary.

 

i try to make things sound poetic… because then its a whole lot more fun to read. you could probably read a fantastic history of the medevial times if it was told right. throw some harsh blunt realities in there, in your face.

 

harsh blunts, in your face. all day. absorb that history. the bubonic plauge and Machaut; making music during death.

 

Machaut is a french poet/composer for the late king, peace my brotha who was paid to be in the Flandish courts. he became the first flandish rockstar. if flandish is something like ethnicity.

history lesson. done. the medevial music scene done. him and the pope .xx represent xx.

 

LOL. i wonder how I’d do as a history teacher. I also thought if I loved the scholastic route, I’d take some kind of disciplined study. like languages. commes lengues, comme ma favorite, francais. did i spell that right?

 

but I don’t. I like my own route. and that one is the one I am presently aboard and taking.

 

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said it best, my friends. ” Well behaved women, seldom make history” and she was right. woman or not. 

 

What does that mean to misbehave. in this historical context, she was right. it was about women, and their imposed roles in society. to be quiet, docile and locked the duck up. but now that is applicable to all genders, races, orientations. Anyone that is imposed upon by society to be quiet and locked the f up. get out there, make some trouble, get shit done.

 

I’m trying really hard to get a hold of a real domain name. for a real website and then i will have a lot of very good and troublesome things up. that’s a small reason why this blog is here, to accent it. but i also just like to empty my mind out without thinking much else about it.

 

twofiftystudios.com, is what i am looking for. and if i don’t hear an email back from technical support at fastdomainnames.com or whatever – I might have to start making LOST and WANTED posters. there’s another and entirely separate history lesson to that.

 

 

welcome to it

now come on baby put your back into it.

I decided to come back. to my best friend the universe. otherwise known as the ether-net, interwebs and online motherfucking blogging. [: hooray

I made that header myself & I hope you’re surprised by how awful it is. because i did it in paint. so i’m proud enough of myself for everybody else. no applause needed.

i’ve been putting together a poetry book. and that’s about all i can say I’ve been up to in the writing department lately. that and aggressive journaling about my sarcastically awesome life.

resume writing, cover letter drafting, pretending to take notes in class. that too. but my brain needs more creative exercise to get those stories floating by me again. i stopped writing a lot this summer to be a camp counselor and be normal and be just a simple, fucking, human, being. & it was awesome. best thing i’ve ever done for myself. a legit mental vacation from my own self. bizzare and enlightening, and so fucking easy and enjoyable. everyone should do it. not necessarily be a camp counselor – but take a mental break; switch up the routine.

and find your own way to do it – that’s what makes it fun.

because what i found that was so enlightening to me; was the exact opposite of what i had initially thought of myself going into it. Like; I don’t need to be anything other than myself. That sounds so bland- generic, I know. But to me it means; I don’t have to push myself to become this extraordinary contributor to society and get extremely successful at it. I just want to do my thing and do it well.

so that’s it. imma just do my thing, my friend. and i am going to have a great time.