look at your browser history. just pick a random day.
I started writing this dystopian novel about a world where the government owns everything and shit. TO BE HONEST I probably should n’t be talking that much about it. The Anomie. Its a fucking mind trip man, plus two halves, equaling a whole. It’ll get you way spun, even sober; trying to plot and chart and feel and live and fucking breathe and die and try to fucking figure this thing out.
But I love it and I need it. And that’s what it is about writing that makes me feel alive. But it also kinda kills me at the same time. Paradox, write? lol. actually.
I like to have a little fun. I’m a nerd for manipulating the english language. I’m also a few drinks deep and probably should be in bed. Because we’re approaching that hour when nothing good can ever happen. but U KNO WUT? Not much good happened today anyway, so I’m willing to test my luck.
I just ate a salad with my hand and opened another beer. so c’mon now, let’s bring it on.
I miss this One Guy so much. but I also think that I’m exaggerating.. Like I honestly think its helped me a bit in character development for this one nutcase character who’s after a man she only sees in her dreams.
I hardly know him. But that’s what so alluring and like….. fucking stupid. lol. seriously. But also what is so mysterious and dangerous and enchanting and challenging and awesome and spooky cool and scary but nice and new and idek. so who gives a fuck but I do and that’s that and good for him, he hardly knows about it because I keep it all to myself. but there it is. on an anonymous blog post about how I’m writing a novel.
He’s been a muse. for me. a silent, steady, almost sad but sacred kind of muse for me. and he’ll probably never know that. which makes it all the more special to me.
I went out with a girl from work tonight and I actually had a really good time. I bought my first “Dub” in like two years. lmao ever since I started dating Prankster Pants I’ve hardly paid for the Mary Wanna. It was nostalgic and cute and fun and reckless in a way.
That shit really needs to be legal though. Like I know I use it recreationally, but ok. People drink alcohol. How many seizures have been stopped by Budweiser???
loljk. IM NOT.
Speaking of kidding. I’ve started doing stand up. and that shit is hilarious. I will say though, that I’ve already met a fellow comic that wants to date me. and WHILE YES. he is super nice, really funny, incredibly charming and well connected. I am NOT about to fuck my way to anywhere in whatever kind of industry.
I actually make it a clearer point not to sleep with people. which makes them less inclined to do things for me. LoL One Guy, But all of them. and that’s fine!! that’s how I’d rather have it. let me be a bro. let me do what you do and not what you won’t with other bros. BECUS IM AT UR LEVEL. I’m actually above it if you consider super ancient spiritual paths, because u kno, i give life and shit. BUT THAT S NOT IMPORTANT!!!?!. carry on anyways. I dot wanna suck ya dick. don’t hate me for it. try not to.
If you’re the One Guy. I might want to. holy hell on earth do I want to. But I’m gonna be kind of an asshole and make you wait for it. THEN Be completely silent about it. Let you think I don’t give a fuck. But in my tightest circles I’m telling only my closest friends how much I kind of miss you.
and I really wish I had. done. something.
BUT THEN AGAIN
r u a fuckboy?
but plz don’t b.
VOTE JILL STIEN OR FUCKING MICKEY ROONEY. FUCK THIS TWO PARTY BULLSHIT