hello darkness my old friend.
I’ve come to blog with you again.
with the sound, of silence.
Call it a crime to my generation, but I really don’t know how to live proper in the social media world. I’m really just way too self-critical/introspective I think for that. Not riding on a high horse. just high. But I mean more along the lines of, anything I post turns into instant anxiety, and all I do is watch from the sidelines while my friends take on the 9th dimension of the world – the internet. social meeds. like wtf guise. idk how I’m supposed to akt.
It just makes me feel weird having people all up in my business. That’s why I keep this for the most part anonymous. The only person who really knows about this blog in my close circle is my Korean Attorney. And, you know, that’s for necessary legal reasons and all.
I read this study, that was all about posting on social media. And whatever you do post most about, and see, write, you will begin to believe about yourself. So post great things and you’ll experience great things!!!!!
what a fucking mind trip man.
what a fucking world.
I love it. I’ve gone away from the internet presence lately because I read a book on Merlin. I’ve been working hard on my spiritual side. Reference, “Eat, Pray, Weed” to tickle your fancy. Maybe “Spirit Animal” too, if you’re into that.
So I decided to dip my toes in a little bit and I’ve waded them past the surface.
Naturally it just took me away from being online. I did that actually a long time ago. But it wasn’t really something I even wanted to do at first. My Ex-Boyfriend- the only man I’ll ever give that true title to (so far!) was actually really into the soul travels and astral planes. And I was twenty just looking to smoke some weed outside in the garage and write The Anomie, like a mini punk rock femme Hunter S. Thompson, all freaked out.
I mean, I’m still like Hunter S. Thompson, all freaked out.. and writing.. and trying to smoke weed in peace…
I’M A FUCKING JOURNALIST MAN, LEAVE ME ALONE.
But he unplugged. Then he unplugged me. And then I was like “wait wtf do I do now?” I adjusted. Big things like that. I realize now you have to want to do that. Otherwise you’ll resent the person who coaxed you in to it. Didn’t even coax really. More like we were living together and he decided since he was paying for the internet bill, he didn’t really want it anymore (mostly for the reason that he thought he spent too much time on social media). From then on, we deleted our face books and went to the library or a place with wifi when we wanted to get online.
This was almost five years ago! I’ve been “offline” for the most part I think since then. And I’ve kind of drifted back in to using it with the last guy I was seeing because he used it. (You sensing the pattern here? clever devils. ;) Now that Prankster Penisbreath (love u too sw33th3art) is OUTTA THE PICTURE. what do I do now?
what.. do.. I.. do.. now.. ?
its just me and my own damned self. and you know what the craziest thing is……
I almost didn’t know for a minute.
I almost don’t know now.
But I do know, I’ve kept writing. That is the one thing, no matter who I have been with, what I have done, the things I have seen, the fucking wild ass crazy places I’ve been. I’ve kept writing. Because the ideas keep coming. And I pray more than I even pray for love, that the ideas never stop coming.
I’ve pick up a few more cool habits since I last logged in. One is the motherfreaking circus. I joke with my daddios that now it is a legitimate option for me, to quit my life as a regular functioning member of society and join the circus.
I have got to say. I have got to say. That on a bad day….
it’s a pretty tempting option.
watch the silks get slain:
stay fierce, my friends