dangers of drinking reheated beer

 

 

 

there aren’t any.
other than its going to get me drunk.

 

but I did just google it. There aren’t any side effects posted specifically about it to the top 3 in google, so america is keeping me safe.

 

america = google = scary

 

= real

 

+ wtf.

 

Anyways!! [: we start filming on Monday. wtfomgsoexcitedcantwait. This is going to be a wild ride ladies and gentlemen. buckle up, as we unbuckle ourselves. LMAO- I just kept with that s.o.c sentence bc it sounded funny. We’re not making a porno though. That’d be a good log line if we were…

 

haha.

 

uh, hah. ha. hah. haha.

 

I’m still drinking this reheated beer, let me tell you the story about that. Its been in my car – which I’m not cleaning out for the sake of this movie. I’ve got a busted tire, two food baskets, bottles upon boxes of empties, some still good – this beer being one of them.

 

Its a recent purchase from a ct brewery & I bought it because on the can it says “crushable india pale ale” and to be all honest I thought that sounded pretty sweet to crush a few of, but then I’ve left them in my car for three days and I just can’t waste them. Plus, I’m thirsty.

 

I think I might go to Montreal with Tour de Pants. And I also think that I speak way better French than him. Et je pense aussi il est tres sympa, tres sympa por mi. I also mix French and Spanish together sometimes, sometimes being a lot. He’s one of those eclectic mixes, extremely sensitive, but still extremely hott. two t’s. like ow. 

 

also, he a cyclist, triathlon athlete, whatever you call them. triathalonist? a fellow weed smoker and inquisitor of the unknown. The only downfalls are that he sings highly and poorly for fun, when I’d rather just enjoy music, and he’s not over six feet, which is this absurd obsession of mine. Blame Big for that.

 

I’m not sure whether Big would be extremely flattered or extremely freaked out that I refer to him as Big on my sex and the city knockoff blog. I guess it depends on which mood I caught him at. 

 

Speaking of Tour de Pants, we’re back together. It was a rather explosive reunion. lol at me and my sex jokes tonight. That’s just a side effect!! Of drinking reheated beer!! But he just brings out, something in me, not even just sexually. Like he gets a little bit of me I didn’t even know was there yet. I think he might have known it was there. I don’t think it even seemed like something new to him at all. But its been very new to me. I’ve just grown a. lot. in the past 6 months. There’s been turbulence on the trip. But we’re arriving safely. At least I am anyways.

 

Because I’m the only damned one on this trip.

 

except you, reader, you’re here too. for smaller, more edible increments. 

 

little windows of time..

 

-google

 

xx

 

 

real talk

 

 

today is a very big day for me.
and I haven’t taken a shower yet. 

 

 

First production meeting/read through for The Common Alligator is happening today. & I’m so excited. This shit is happening. I opened up our bank account on Wednesday and that godforsaken fundraiser video should be done maybe by the end of June- inshallah. 

 

I have completely neglected my submission for NBC Comedy Playground and while I do think that Summer Camp is an ideal set up for a sitcom, I might fall out of the running based solely on the poor quality of my video footage in the video pitch…. for which I used my iPhone and my friend. and the poor video quality of the bagheads… for which I used a flip cam, and once again, my friends.

 

 

I had such a great IDEA for the video pitch. But just not enough time and resources to execute it. I still have…. like four days….. and then we start filming for TCA on Monday. Like, seriously, am I insane?

 

no. just ambitious. uninhibited. wild. and stoned most of the time. so maybe yes, insane.

 

speaking of insane. EDC….. bomb. so so so so so SOOOOOOO fucking good. We almost left because we were soaked to the bone, cold, and all my weed got wet in the downpour of rain. We actually did leave – where there was no re-entry. But we turned right around and changed our minds and I talked to the security guard who was just such a big softie for some cute girls in short shorts. Then we just rolled right away, warmed up , danced so hard, and had a fucking blast. 

 

speaking of having a fucking blast, work work right now suck sucks. I’m actually 85% convinced that I’m gonna get fired from my day job waiting tables at the snob fest in Fairfield. but, I’m at that point – call it what you will – where I genuinely don’t give a fuck whether they fire me or not. Waitressing anywhere is a job where you pretty much get paid to eat shit, and if I get fired – that just proves I’m not that good at eating shit.

 

welp, who’s the real winner here then anyways? hm?

 

 

speaking of eating shit… lol jk. I don’t have any more stories for now. 

 

chase what matters, everything else can just fall back.

 

stay notorious

 

xx

 

no title this time

 

 

I just don’t feel like it.

 

All I’d really want to name it anyways is “going off the rails on a crazy train” and that doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. So good thing I didn’t really call it that because that’d pretty much sum it all up & I’d have nothing left to write about.  

 

But that’s just exactly how I’m feeling. I’m on board a train ladies and gentlemen. And it is a crazy one. I am going off the rails on a crazy train.

 

lol. I hope you all get the dry sarcasm here. ozzy, ozzy ozbourne anyone?

 

now I should just call the damned post that.

 

 

Kickstarter video is coming ladies & gents. coming real soon. I love that Alligator guy on my website. I’m scared. I know the bagheads are the worst video quality possible – character choice. I’m scared that my mind is out there on the internet. I’m scared for people to see it and not like it. BUT THATS LIFE. AND PEOPLE WON’T. some people will. some people will probably not give a shit. 

 

and still, life goes on. 

 

There are plenty of successful businesses out there that I don’t know about, that I probably don’t give a shit about. There are plenty of huge corporations that I actually hate and completely loathe, but look at them, sweeping in a paycheck.

 

Customer satisfaction is a huge priority to me. That, and the limitless expression and reach that the internet lends.

 

next stop on that crazy train!!

 

Got my mother.fucking.harominca. back. Slapped the fez in the face and he deserved it. It was not so much an act of anger from me, but an act of “wake the fuck up” from god. I was merely a pawn in his plan… But really, wake the fuck up dude. enough.

 

I like to break up with guys in groups of two now. so I also blocked Big on Skype. I’m an asshole, a belligerent idiot and if I got drunk one more time and messaged him without a response I was probably going to kill myself. Even though jumping out of the second story window would probably just cause a horrible scene and I’d only break my legs…. I decided to just block him, delete fez from my life (don’t have that suckers # memorized, hah!) and just carry on, tighten up that inner circle, you know?

 

tighten up dis ship.

 

dat train doe….

off the rails

 

xx

 

twofiftystudios.com

 

 

happy small business week everybody!

 

I just spent $70 on stickers!

 

 

hooray!

 

 

and also, finally my website is LIVE!!!!!!

 www.twofiftystudios.com

 

 

here’s to being broke and living the dream. here’s to living with uncertainty and chasing everything you want out of life. fuck yeah you small business owners. and fuck yeah 250studios is an LLC. just, fuck. yeah. You can do whatever you want. If you’re willing to stay up on your laptop for like 12+hours straight, give yourself some carpal tunnel or some shit, shamelessly promote yourself and take the biggest fucking social risks you’re ever gonna take in your life.

 

then you’re gonna be alright.

 

 

I’m gonna be alright.

 

 

I’d say I’ve done pretty well so far.

 

 

and there’s a long, long way to go.

 

stay adventurous
stay hungry
stay mothafuckin fresh

 

happy friday
happy t.g.i. motherfuckin f

 

xx

 

 

workspace confessions

 

 

the original workaholics. in my mind anyway. except there is no Fergueson. Fergs is from Office Space, but this time the boss.

 

 

in case you don’t know what I’m talking about.

 

& you probably don’t, because you’ve never heard of workspace confessions. a web series I wrote revolving around a second shift office crew. its balls bananas. alcoholic secretary, that dude as a boss, and Peterson. my favorite. he’s always involved in some kind of social revolutionary shenanigans. Then there’s John, who’s just going to be named John. I think his character name was Matt before, but its based loosely off John who would have played him.

 

granted if we didn’t all get fired from our day job, at a film office – because we were producing that… while we worked there. …making fun of everyone & everything about there… while we were there….

 

okay. we get it!

 

I would be disappointed if I thought that it was an actual career mistake. But right now actually, is when I feel my career is starting. And I’m glad I’m doing it this way, all by myself. I’m not waiting on a big break, I’m working hard. I’m working tirelessly friends, and here’s my Bradshaw cliche moment workspace confession – I’m exhausted & sometimes lonely.

 

Sadly it helps, I’m getting a lot of work done on Catherine in The Anomie – a feature. which by the way HAS ANYONE SEEN UNDER THE SKIN. By Jonathan Glazer. just go and see it, and reassess what you think filmmaking is all about.

 

while I’m on the shout out wagon. I’ve rediscovered south park. luhv yew guise; Cartman voice

 

The 0.00001% chance I get to see Big again is back on the table. after I’ve been fine, mind you. totally. fine. and you know what I think? quite honestly, I’m still fine. he doesn’t drive me so mad anymore. There’s isn’t anything that’s drawing me to him. He isn’t being charming and its not how he used to be. The last thing we spoke about was the weather. if that’s not bro talk I don’t know what is.

 

its been like a month or more of silence dude.

 

I don’t want to talk about the fucking weather.

 

I want you to talk about how you’re sorry I didn’t come to see you back in April. and to talk about what you’re doing in the summer.

 

I can assure you ladies & gentlemen. I’ll be filming all summer – inshallah, I’ll be filming this summer. although my crazy ass would still love to see colorado. that 0.00001% I realize is also half my doing. If I don’t want to see him. I don’t have to see him. but that 0.00001% does.

 

even though in real life I have a different obsession with another unattainable. that one’s still too juicy to blog about right now. probably because in conversation I refer to him my as “my boyfriend” but boyfriend is probably the last thing either of us would want.

 

if you’re catching my drift.

 

love? oh baby. I don’t know, but I want it. somewhere in my heart I really do want it. Because I feel lonely. I’m a single girl working my butt off and I get lonely. Plus, I’d love a back massage now & then [; but real companionship. I want a solid dude, so until I find one I’m just gonna have to keep writing – because that shit really takes the edge off.

 

so what are we now celibacy in the suburbs?

 

 

keep it trashy my friends

 

 

xx

 

thirsty thursday

 

 

goddamn, its thursday already
and goddam I be real thirsty

 

 

so. fucking. thirsty.

but I got some wine for that.

 

I’m working a marathon waiting tables til Sunday. I’ve been working that 250studios grind so hard the past two weeks. I need a crew, I need a camera, and I need a wall full of post-its. I have an interview for a PA at 11 tomorrow. hope I’m not too hungover.

 

its hard. I’m drowning out my doubts. drowning out the doubters.

 

I met with my former 250 compadre today & that shit did not go too well. granted, this fucker was hungover from a wild night in the city. But he ripped pretty hard in to my fundraiser video full force. I have thick skin, third degree scarred up from some burns thick. but fuck. I mean, is it so hard to just want some people to believe in what I’m trying to accomplish? I’m creating a media company that throws a fat middle fucking finger up to what the norm is. Its edgy, its new, and its fucking scary because nobody’s done it. and because its never been done, there’s no example to follow. 

 

take the road less traveled by.

 

that shit cray.

 

 

xx

 

feliz cinco de mayo

 

 

hoy es la dia de tequila para los gringos
y es la dia de independicia para los mexicanos

 

 

gracias, y muy bien as well.

 

 

So a post about the fez has come and gone just like the mighty fez himself. oh, and good thing I didn’t spill my heart out or anything – because that’d be really embarrassing to have to admit days later that: he. broke. up. with. me.

 

oh yes. he did.

why?

 

well..

 

he’s a fool.

first of all. 

 

second of all;

 

I’m a lunatic. and I’m a lunatic, because – well – look at this blog, look at my life. the real reason, why, is because I have an affliction called “feelings” and “feelings” scare people away. But when he started identifying spruce trees and red pines on a hike in the woods, well shit, I started to fall in love. Couldn’t help it. And then when he told me he thinks he used to be a sex addict & also one day I’ll meet his mom. I just said “well okay then, we can just let it go & go with the flow.”

 

so I am a lunatic. I attract the crazies, and I can’t even hold on to them…

 

let it go and with the flow we did my friends.

 

So on the same weekend I dropped off the J Crew sweater I borrowed from Tour de Pants back at his lovely New Haven home, just right on the front steps like a cold bitch; I fell head over heels over soul over body into love with someone who wasn’t ready for me.

 

two chapters closed. two birds with two stones.

 

The night before the break up the former sex addict fez did ask if I would sleep with him. in more calmer terms “would tonight, be the night.”  – I said no. 

 

 

*cricket* *cricket*

 

 

I live with no regrets.

 

happy independence

 

xx

 

 

the fez

 

 

I love it when people ask me what I do and I be like….

 

 

p.s – I really love you Tina Fey. my goal is to be just like you someday. lol, ‘cept not cooler, cause that’s not possible.

 

autocorrect needs to stop steppin. like I don’t mean, ducking and I don’t mean shot. definitely didn’t just mean ‘kept. 

 

smart computers trying to make me a lady.

 

 

GOOD LUCK

 

speaking of 30 Rockafeller Plaza this little lady is entering NBC Comedy Playground. oh yes. and I have only one. month. left. until we start filming on The Common Alligator. Have I lost my mind?

 

yes.

 

but it doesn’t count if you never had a stable one to start with.

 

Its Friday. Its ten to quitting time. so I’m gonna treat myself to a beer. Hell, maybe even two if I feel like it. Definitely rolling myself a little fattie.

 

I mean fattie. autocorrect, as in slang for spliff – not fat tie.

 

I mean for this post to be all about my new love Fez. but Big sent me some Skype messages last month that I just actually saw today.

 

 

so fuckit. 

 

IOU – a real post next time

 

tgif

 

xx