I’ve been on a few different missions lately folks,
I always thought I was pretty good about diving deep and exploring into myself. But the truth is, that’s a charade. I don’t do it truly. Half my zodiac is in Scorpio (Libra cusps, fuck yeah) That’s got Pluto & Hades so you’d think that identifying and understanding the darker side to my self would come easy. But nah bra. Its something like Venus keeping it at bay, one of them love goddesses won’t let me be too ugly.
But I want to get fugly, mother fckin rage dark.
And I feel like I can’t completely commit to that – and its driving me insane.
I am scared that getting that far into the dark will definitely drive a lot of people away from me. I mean, I am already a very strange person to begin with. That black panther friend of mine slinks around quite a lot. But I know that there is some way to use this all for a common good.
I do want to break things, and destroy things, and I wish some kinds of people didn’t exist, truly. And as I am waiting for most of them to die off, I see we are busy breeding an entire new nation of imbecile, taking selfies everyday and consumed by garbage on the internet.
I’ve got nothing against a good selfie – its a staple. But 12 year old girls taking a daily “after school” selfie…… W. T. actual. F.
That kind of shit scares me more than anything I have dwelling in my self.
So we’ve come full semi-circle. As I find what it is that scares me, I have to find a way to either be alright with it or to find a way to wipe it out of existence.
I am definitely scared of failing, I’m scared of pushing people away from me, I’m scared of driving my tired little body into the ground with exhaustion. I’m scared of Atlas shrugging his shoulders on us.
That, I can all control. That fear has no power over me.
That’s up to all of us, 12 year old selfie girls included.